(More than) Fourinarow.net

It seems like a lot of people, as they age, think about things they want to do.  Older people have “bucket lists” – things they want to do before they die.  Several blogs I’ve read list 40 things the writer wants to do by the time they reach the age of 40.

I don’t really have any grand dreams, or places I really, really want to see. Nor do I have feats I feel I must accomplish by a certain date.

But, when I look at my life, often times I cannot believe it’s my life.  I never, ever, would have thought I’d be here, living this life.

I was never deeply driven toward anything, particularly, but there were certainly things that I wanted to avoid.

A sedan, for instance.  As a new college grad, buying my first car, I never even deigned to glance at a sedan.  Four doors?  NEVER.  However, when your regular vehicle is a crumb-filled family van, suddenly a four-door sedan with leather seats, a sunroof, seat warmers and a great stereo is damn cool.

I never thought I’d have kids.  Which is a total jaw-dropper for those that know me now.  But, the fact that I have kids at all, much less FIVE of them, is a jaw-dropper for those who knew me well in my teens and twenties.

I never thought I’d struggle five times a year to come up with and make kick-ass (or disastrous) birthday cakes.

I never thought I’d find myself making Jello jigglers.

Or Duct tape wallets.

I never thought I’d be unable to sleep because I was worried about school – not for me, but one of my kids.

Speaking of school, I never thought I’d be reliving the horror of homework.  (And, it’s much, much worse this time around.)

I never thought I’d see a day where my fridge held more juice pouches than beer.

Or that I’d find myself dancing to “YMCA” with my kids on a Wii.  (Thank goodness there were no other adults to witness this.)

Never thought I’d own a sewing machine, much less sew a quilt. And then go on to use it for sewing scout patches and making headbands.

It’s not all about the kids…

I never thought, for instance, that I’d marry a cop.

Or that I’d live in a very, very rural area.  And have my own chickens.  (Until they mysteriously disappeared.)

I definitely never thought I’d fall in love with that very rural area, only to move away and back to the big city. And love it also.

Never thought I’d live in a place with a serious winter – and enjoy it.

I never thought I’d be ripping out walls and replacing drywall.

Never would I have thought I’d find myself signed up to run a half marathon.  And expect to survive it. (Actually I’m still not sure on this one.)

I never, ever thought I’d give up horses.

I never thought that playing bridge with a bunch of moms would be the highlight of my month.

Or that I’d attend a purse party.  And then host one.

I looked at Dan this evening and told him I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.

What can I say?  I guess I’m the poster child woman for change.

And change is weird.  But good.