(More than) Fourinarow.net

Not only am I incompetent in the dressing department, but in the kitchen as well.  I’m ashamed to say that since having kids 8+ years ago, I have made hamburgers, frozen pizza, breakfast-for-dinner, spaghetti, chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese.  That about covers it.  Occasionally, I’ll chop up some carrots or a cucumber or slice an apple.  Sad, huh?  Especially when one of the kids regularly complains that we aren’t having a “real” dinner.

I’ve felt guilty about this for a while, but not guilty enough to do anything about it.  My grandmother used to say, “If you can read, you can cook,” but it isn’t that simple.  I mean, you have to THINK about what to have.  Then you have to GO TO THE STORE and buy what you need.  Then you need to PLAN so that your meal is prepared in time for the dinner hour.  Never mind the laundry, the cleaning, the homework, the nursing, the diapers, etc. that has to be done… AT THE SAME TIME.

Still… when I saw a discussion among my friends on Facebook about e-mealz, I was intrigued.  I read through the posts, and found myself thinking that this might be “it” for me.  No planning, no list-making, no figuring out what to make… it’s all done for you.  I figured it was the closest thing to having a personal chef.  So… I signed myself up.  Each week, I get a shopping list and a meal plan for the week.  Seven ingredients or less for each recipe.  (The kids complain no matter what, so how could I go wrong?)

I’ve completed Day Two.

Let’s start with the grocery shopping.  Normally, I don’t do much shopping.  Having kids in tow, I usually run in, grab some cereal, milk and shampoo and run out.  Or, Dan goes to Costco and buys 183 rolls of toilet paper, 38 Diet Dr. Peppers and 6 cases of frozen pizzas.

This week, with my e-mealz printout, things were different.  I had some shopping – for actual food – to do.  Despite the list being organized by grocery section, it was still painful.  I had the baby (who, thankfully, was happy) and Sam.  Who had very. limited. patience.

I thought I’d breeze through, but when you don’t know what a squash looks like, or where the onions are, or WTF cube steak is takes a little longer.  (Btw, I actually bought parsley.  Who’d a thought?)  I was DETERMINED to follow the plan.  To buy everything on the list and fix every meal, like it or not.  Unfortunately Super Target didn’t have everything I needed, but enough to get me through a day or two.

Tuesday night was Moroccan Chicken.  It took longer than I realized, so it was after 6:30 by the time I was finished cooking.  Not good when the kids are used to eating around 5 or 5:30.  In addition, the baby wasn’t feeling well.  Graciously, he passed out on the living room floor and I was able to finish up in the kitchen without him on my hip.

I was doing okay until I had to drain the pasta.  When I went to pour it into the colander to drain it, I lost half the pasta to the sink.  F*ck.  THIS is one of the reasons I don’t cook… I’m a total klutz in the kitchen.  Then, before the kids even saw their dinner, they were complaining that they didn’t like it.  Well, tough shit.  I told them they could pick out what they wanted.  Most of them actually did pretty well.  Sam… well, he went to bed early without dinner.

Last night went a little smoother.  I started earlier.  The baby (still under the weather) took a nap during the preparations.  We had cube steak.  I still got negative comments from the kids during preparation, but whatever.  I managed to get everything together and had no big problems until I dumped half a steak onto the floor while trying to serve it up.  Nice.  At least the dog didn’t complain.

The kids grumbled, but I laid down the law – they could pick out the meat (ewwwww…. it was touching some sauce!), eat the broccoli and drink their milk.  Or go to bed.  They weren’t required to finish, but if they did, they’d get dessert.  It worked pretty well.  Jack gave it a “medium thumbs,” while Maria gave it an actual “thumbs up”.  The little boys ate what they had to and didn’t comment much.

Tonight?  Chicken Cordon Bleu (or a version thereof).  I had to go out and buy a meat tenderizer (Luke:  why can’t we just use a hammer?), but other than that I’m ready to go.

I hope.