(More than) Fourinarow.net

I’m sure not many people are foolish enough to bring all four of their small children to the dentist’s office at the same time.  Especially when only two of those four were being worked on.  But, what’s a mom to do?  Life is a little different here than it was in Small Town, TN.  Dan isn’t 5 minutes from the office and can’t swing by to help juggle kids during appointments.

With Jack in school full time, Maria half-time and Luke going occassionally, somehow you’d have thought we could work things out a little better.  But, being new patients, we had to tow the line and take our appointments when we were given them.

Thankfully, when you pay through the nose for a pediatric dentist, they’re well-equipted for kids.  At least kids other than mine.

The waiting room was pracitally a playground/arcade.  The only thing that would have kept my kids more entertained was a pile of mud.  So, waiting for our turn was cake.

The rest was not.  To keep the children entertained while the nurse and I discussed healthy little teeth, they were each given a water toy.   You know, the kind where you push a button, which causes a jet of water to bounce a ball up and, hopefully, into a basket of some sort?

Well, no one was happy with the one they got.  Everyone else got something better.  Lots of commotion.  Once things settled down, I think the kids were entertained for.. um, about 45 seconds.  The nurse then offered Gameboys!  Whoohoooo!  None of my kids know how to use them, so the first few minutes of that was a bunch of questions.  Then games were attempted.  Everyone failed and became loudly frustrated.

Then books came.  Thankfully those worked better than anything else.  They worked just long enough to get Jack started in the chair.  The nurse let him hold a mirror so he could see what she was doing.  Then it was Maria’s turn.  The Little Boys were entertained just watching. Soon after, the nurse took Jack, and then Maria around the corner for x-rays.  When Jack returned, we all got to see his teeth on the computer screen.  Cool!

While Maria was gone, Sam was getting squirmy so his fool mom gave him the handheld mirror.  We played reflection games for a minute or two and then he was back in motion, walking around with his water toy, Gameboy and now the mirror.  Unfortunately, he left the room and I had to chase him down.

Like a druggie about to be pulled over by police, Sam tossed everything he had.  The mirror shattered everywhere.  I cut my finger cleaning it up.

Maria finally returned and soon after the actual dentist came in.  He checked Maria first and had Jack “help” and then they switched.  They did great.

Now, you’ll notice I haven’t mentioned Luke much.  Well, after the initial craziness, I set him on the floor with a book and he was an ANGEL.  Toward the end, he got a little teary because it was all taking “forever,” but other than that we was really, really good…

…Until Jack and Maria got to pick some toys from the treasure chest.  Then the Lukie tears started to flow.  I suggested we get some ice cream and that was met with enthusiasm.  But, the dentist told his nurse to be sure that all four children got to pick toys from the treasure box.

Great!  Everyone was happy.  Until we got as far as the waiting room and they had all changed their minds and wanted what everyone else had picked out.  Lots of complaining, some tears and a mom who was losing it.  Quickly.

I herded wailing four to the van, got everyone buckled and told them no ice cream because of all the tears and poor behavior.  Oh the horror!  More tears and gnashing of teeth.

I’m such a terrible, unfair mommy. The baddest, according to Luke.

I sure must have pissed someone off on the way to Chicago.