Having been pregnant quite a few times, I’ve gotten pretty darn good at peeing in a cup. I think I could do it blindfolded.
I don’t remember the first time I had to perform this feat, and it might have taken a little practice before I had it down. I do know, however, that I have never had trouble making water on command. (Unfortunately these days, sometimes it’s a little too easy…)
Not so for my daughter.
Yesterday after lunch, Andrew and I picked Maria up from school to take her to a doctor’s appointment. Before leaving, the doc wanted a blood sample and a urine sample. Uh, oh! Maria looked at me with wide eyes. “I’ll help you,” I told her calmly. And the nurse – crazy lady – offered to entertain Andrew.
Down the hall we went. Maria insisted that she didn’t have to go, but she sat and tried. Nothing. I turned on the water. Nada. I had her close her eyes and picture a waterfall. Nope. Nothing worked for her. I, on the other hand, had to GO!
We returned to the room (with an empty cup) and found Andrew happily covered in stickers. The nurse went off to find some apple juice (for both children!) and get her blood collection kit. Maria (and Andrew) downed their juice and Maria had her blood drawn.
Time was getting a little tight at this point. We had the boys to pick up from school, and then had to get everybody to the dentist. I ushered Maria back into the bathroom, now with Andrew in tow. This time I didn’t blame her for not being able to produce… what with Andrew putting his stickers all over the wall and then decorating with the GIANT roll of toilet paper.
We talked the nurse into letting us take the collection cup home and promised to return later with something in it.
We bolted from the doctor’s office and devised a plan on the way to school: I would stop by the house and drop Maria off where she could have some privacy to do her thing. How to collect it? The baby potty of course! I dropped her off and hurried to get the boys from school.
I left the boys in the car while I went back in for Maria and her sample. (“I went as soon as I sat down!”) and put the cup (not to worry – it has a screw top lid) in a brown paper bag, so Maria wouldn’t have to discuss the situation with her brothers. As we headed for the dentist, I explained to the boys that I was going to drop some of them at the dentist, run an errand, and then come back to switch kids around. When they asked about the errand, I just told them I needed to run by the doctor’s office to drop something off. I think that would have satisfied them, but Maria piped up with, “Yeah! My URINE!”
So much for a little discreetness. At least the dentist is close and I didn’t have to listen to the pee talk for long.