They both committed to being angels.

The nurse called us back quickly, thank goodness.  However, as we settled in, she started pulling out straps and monitors for a Non Stress Test.  I was aware that I’d have to start these soon, but I was not aware that they would start today, and indicated so to the nurse.  She checked and sure enough, I needed to be hooked up.

S.H.I.T.

Well, the baby was active (as is usual) so I was optimistic that it would go quickly.  (The minimum time is 20 minutes and surely my boys could handle that.)

The nurse strapped in and left me with my boys watching their video.  Time dragged.  The boys started getting restless.  I got restless.  They started misbehaving, I started threatening.  Then the machine started sounding some type of alarm.  I sent Lukie out into the hall to look for a nurse.  No dice.  As Luke walked back in, Sam EXPLODED in anger (since he was not assigned the task.)

The doctor came in and tried to look at the print out, which Sam ripped out of her hands in anger.

It’s horrifying, really, to have your child behave that way and be in a position to do absolutely NOTHING about it.  I was seething.  Sam stayed angry and difficult.  Luke started playing with things in the room.  Then the doctor told me that something was up with the machine and they didn’t get what they needed and would have to monitor me longer.  I waited for her to leave the room before sobbing.

Luke and Sam fought over the iPhone.  Then played with the chairs.  Then Sam got mad again and threw my purse across the room.  Then he tipped over the chair.  Through gritted teeth, I demanded that he pick it up.  After a short battle of wills, he began to do so and the nurse came in.  She picked up my purse and set it in a safer place.  Helped Sam with the chair.  Gave me her sympathies and some water and told me we needed still more monitoring.

Just what I wanted to hear.

A little more hell and we were finished with the monitoring.  The doc came in and answered all the questions I had in a way that I didn’t want.

First – they will NOT, in fact, induce me after having had a c-section.

Second – definitely go with a section.  My decision, but thought of my uterus rupturing is too damn scary.

Third – they will NOT schedule the section even one day before a week before my due date.  It doesn’t matter that all my other children came way earlier than that and chances are this one will too.  Too bad, so sad.

Fourth – due to the above, I will most likely go into labor before scheduled c-section, which means trying to find last-second child care for my children when it happens.

Fifth – something is happening… I’m not dilated yet, but my cervix is very soft, indicating this boy’s desire to make things happen sooner rather than later.

Sixth – I need to see the doctor AND have an NST EVERY week from now one.  And, no, they do not have weekend or evening hours.  See you Monday.  With a preschooler in tow.  AGAIN.

Well, enough for now.  I have to run – gotta go BACK TO THE DOCTOR where I left my purse in my desperation to get the hell out of there.

P.S.  The boys actually had the gall to ask if they were getting McDonald’s on the way home.  (Cue hysterical laughter from their mother).

Because if you marry a woman and give her children, she’ll need to make her home safe for them.

In order to make her home safe for them (in an older house), she’ll have to have Mario come and fix the plumbing.

When Mario comes to fix the plumbing (i.e. install a scald-free pressure valve for the shower) he’ll need to cut open the wall.

After fixing the plumbing, Mario will have to patch the wall.

After the wall is patched, I feel the need to paint the unsightly area.

In order to paint the area, I have to paint the whole bathroom as there is no left over chalky white cheap-ass paint left over from the previous owners.

Before I can paint the whole bathroom, we have to patch the numerous unsightly holes in the walls and ceiling.

After patching the holes, the ceiling must be painted. (Thankfully, we have just enough left over bathroom ceiling paint from the last bathroom project.)

After painting the ceiling, I have to call my sister in Oregon to find out what color to paint the walls, as she has style and I have none.

After finding out what color to get, I go and get it.  And a few other supplies, ’cause you can’t go to a hardware store and buy just one thing.

After gathering my supplies and paint, I ask hubby to finish up with sanding and patching so I can start on the walls…

Tomorrow!

The baby looks great!  Weighs in at 4 lbs., 12 oz., head down and ready to go.  Another week, the doc said, and we’ll be home free.  What a relief!  My due date isn’t until April 22, but since everyone else has come early and quickly, I’m expecting this one to follow suit.  We just need some time for my parents to get here.  I really don’t want any of that middle of the night crap Jack pulled. 

We got a GREAT picture today – the best ultrasound pic I’ve had of any of my children! (It’s his face, by the way.)

Baby H5

Here it is turned.  The less experienced may find this one easier to read:

Choose from any item we offer, including all of our new Spring/Summer
expressions, embellishments, accessories, Grande Format, Decorative
Prints, or even MyDesign Suite custom expressions and UL Photo Prints.
There’s no limit to the ways you can enhance your home or the FREE
items you can get!
Don’t miss your chance to Buy Two, Get One FREE—contact your
Uppercase Living Demonstrator and place your order today!

But, I digress…  Back to the Derby.

Jack KICKED BUTT, making it to 7th place out of 42 cars.  He raced so well that we were there for the entire THREE HOURS of racing (except for the part where we dropped Maria at a birthday party.)  The Little Boys had a blast rooting for Jack’s car and Jack was quite proud up until he was eliminated.  Then, unfortunately, there were some tears.  But, hey, it was tense and he is only 7.  Never have the second grade Cub Scouts been so focused during an event.  And never have so many dads shown up

some of the competition

speeding in at first place

on a roll

exit interview

Obsessed with what?

Tomorrow’s Cub Scout Pinewood Derby.

Apparently, Jack is not the only one who has a father with The Fever, ’cause tonight, after weigh-ins, is the Father’s Race.  Winner gets bragging rights.

I’m not sure if I’m hoping Dan wins or not.  On on hand, he’s worked really hard (obsessively hard) on building his car.  It’d be great to see that work end in success.  On the other hand, I don’t know if I’m up to listening to the bragging for a few weeks if he does win.  Back on the other hand, next year will be even worse if he doesn’t win tonight.

Tomorrow, though, is the real deal.  I’m going to try my best to be there to video Jack’s race(s), but I have to take Maria to a birthday party, so we’ll see.  Either way, results will be posted here in the afternoon.

Here are the contenders:

Jack's 2010 Car

Father and Son Racers

Dan’s car is a little plain, but he says it’s built for speed only.  Jack, however, is going for a blue in speed and decor.

They had a wonderful time!

It’s sad, really, that she finds herself a target.  I get comments like that often, but then I’m an anomaly, right?  With FOUR kids and another on the way?

The truth is, whether you have one or six or 10, you still have your hands full.  (Unless maybe you’re doping up your kids.)  For the most part, having kids is crazy and wonderful, all mixed together.  At other times… well… you know.  It is NEVER easy.  It is RARELY calm or quiet.  But for those who believe that one or two is acceptable, and more than that demands a comment, I say poppycock.

I’ve seen plenty of people at the store struggling with just one child. Or two.  The number of children doesn’t really change the situation.

As a matter of fact, I had the allowable number of TWO children with me yesterday at Target.  You’d think it’d be a breeze.  I mean, I was down to half my normal crew and only needed to pick up a few things.  Piece of cake, right?  Riiiiiiight.  After the moaning and groaning required while browsing for a dress (ewwwwwww) for their sister, we grabbed a couple of other things and then headed to the checkout lane.  There was no waiting, but still, my boys couldn’t wait to be free.  Luke, old enough to climb out on his own, did so and then stayed perched on the outside of the cart while the checker did her thing.  Sam, having seen his brother break free, also wanted out.  He was in the front of the cart and when he started to extract himself, I grabbed him and told him “NO.”  He was in the squatting position by then and asked if he could at least stay that way.  “NO,” I told him.  “You need to SIT ALL THE WAY DOWN.”  And, just as he was asking, “But why???”

C R A S H !

Thanks to Luke’s weight on the side and Sam not sitting properly, over the cart went.  Sam, having smacked his head, was screaming.  Luke was looking scared.  I was trying to console Sam and pick up the cart, frustrated and embarrassed as could be.  I had almost made it out of the store disaster-free.

Somehow I managed to get the cart up-righted and pay the cashier.  As I was grabbing my two measly bags and explaining to Sam that THAT is why he needs to sit properly, my neighbor materialized before me.  Shit.  Thankfully, though, it was the neighbor with two small energetic children of her own.

She gave me a sympathetic look and told me that she was at the snack counter getting a green crazy straw since the cashier had dared give her son THE WRONG COLOR.  Her two children were at a snack table fighting over the one acceptable straw.  “I’m surprised you didn’t hear them screaming about it,” she told me.

Yeah, well, I might have if I hadn’t be in the throes of my own disaster.

Anyhow, us moms of young ones don’t need comments from strangers about the number of children we have, or about how brave/crazy/stupid, etc. we must be.  Instead, we’d simply prefer those strangers to a) completely ignore us and go on about their business; or b) smile and offer to hold the door.  (Or pick up the cart.)

Sure enough, I flunked the test.  It isn’t the first time.  I had gestational diabetes when I was carrying Jack, too.  So, it’s been a while, but I pretty much knew what to expect.  There are upsides – like a better diet, less weight to lose after birth, a decrease in heartburn… But, there are also negatives, like — hang on a sec.  I gotta go prick my finger…

…

…

Okay.  I’m back.  Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  The negatives of GD.  Oh, wait…  I just got blood on my keyboard.  Hang on while I wipe it off…

…

Back.  Again.  Negatives… Oh, how about NO CARBS???  NO SUGAR???  NO SWEETS of ANY kind?  That kind of sucks.  Oh, and no milk (or very little) which stinks, ’cause I absolutely crave it while pregnant.  I also need to find a way to get more protein.  I haven’t been big on meat, but I do like peanut butter… of course, without bread, I guess I’ll be eating it off a spoon.  Eggs are recommended, but I cannot even stand the smell, much less the sight of eggs right now.

Oh, well. I’ll work it all out.  Right?  And this little guy will be much better off for it (despite having a crabbier mom).

I do have to admit, though, that despite getting the fateful news on Friday, I didn’t exactly jump right on a carb-free/sugar-free diet.  It could wait a couple of days, right?  So, for Saturday, to go along with Dan’s awesome Valentine’s Day feast, I made a cake.  From scratch.  I’d seen a recipe in the paper for a red velvet cake with white chocolate icing.  Mmmmmm.  Looked easy enough.

After three trips to the store (seriously), I had all the ingredients I needed for the cake and got to it.

Unfortunately, the recipe required one to mix red dye with egg whites before combining them with the other ingredients.  As I mentioned above, I have an aversion to eggs right now.  It’s hard enough for me to handle them, much less handle them with red dye mixed in.  Do you know what this looks like?  Ugh!  I imagine they could use the combination for fake blood during a slasher movie.  Gross. I think it’s the only thing that looks as much like blood as blood itself.  Not cool for a pregnant woman.

Somehow, I managed to choke back the bile in my throat and finish making the cake.  Lacking my original enthusiasm, I skipped the homemade white chocolate icing and covered it with store-bought butter cream frosting.  It turned out pretty good.  The kids certainly didn’t complain.  But, after Dan’s exquisite dinner of steak and crab legs, it wasn’t quite the ending it could have been.  It also wasn’t quite worthy of my last sweet item before starting a new diet.  Of course, what would be?  If you could only have one more sweet thing in your life – candy, cake, etc. – what would it be?

My sister, Caroline (she of tremendous talent), crocheted blankets for my babies when they were born.  The kids each latched on to them immediately.  Although I lack the talent she has, I was somewhat inspired.

So, a few years ago, I found someone who knew how to crochet and I bought a book for South Paws and figured it out.  For the most part, anyway.  I think I made three or four blankets, none of which were exactly square, or pretty, but still, they’ve come in handy.

This time around, I got the courage up to actually change colors!  So, I made a blanket with a stripe pattern.  I like the blue and brown combo, but I don’t know… these particular colors may be too dark for a baby.  And, it’s kind of big.  But, hey!  It’s my best effort yet!