(More than) Fourinarow.net

During summer camp one year, while I was on a camp out in the pouring rain, I learned that a tampon is a fail-safe way to start a fire. Even in the rain. (Obviously this was a girls-only camp out.) Who would have thought a tampon would have an alternative use?

There is yet another use for tampons. Like decorating my bedroom. (Hildi’s got nothing on my kids.)

By the way, do you see the time stamp on this post?

It snowed here last night. I was out in it, as I went to church for the Lenten penance service. (I’m already feeling the need to go back.) As I watched the snow accumulate, I hoped for Jack’s sake that school would be closed. It was the most snow we’ve had this year, despite two other closings. He would be so disappointed if he couldn’t stay home to play in it.

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS I THINKING???

I got up to check the weather report (schools closed!) and before I could get back in bed there were three additional bodies in my spot. With no alternative, I jumped in the shower. When I got out, Dan got in. As I was dressing, I heard a lot of commotion and went to investigate.

I discovered Jack, Maria and Luke all in the kitchen eating ice cream sandwiches. Paper wrappers decorated the floor and chocolate covered the hands and mouths of my three oldest. Big sigh. At least they were in the kitchen. I turned and walked out.

“Guess what the kids are having for breakfast?” I asked Dan. “Ice cream sandwiches,” he replied. “How did you know?” “They were talking about them in bed.”

What. Ever.

After “breakfast” Jack and Maria bundled themselves up to play in the snow. Did you read that? Bundled THEMSELVES up. No help needed when they WANT to do something.

While they were outside, Luke wandered around the kitchen loudly begging for more food, since we refuse to feed him more than once every two weeks, and Sam wolfed down two waffles faster than you can blink. I desperately tried to ignore everyone and just. eat. my. breakfast.

Jack burst in covered in snow and wanted to shake it all off in the house before going back out. (?!?) He stripped down, leaving everything in front of the door. Maria burst in and stomped all over Jack’s jacket, leaving snowy footprints. Meltdown ensued.

Maria went to timeout and Jack went to his room to finish the meltdown. Eventually, Jack went back outside while I cleaned the kitchen and the other children got busy decorating my room.

Not my choice of decor.

After sending everyone to time out, I cleaned the mess then herded Maria, Luke and Sam upstairs where I strongly encouraged them to clean the playroom.

Over the next 20 minutes, there was barking of orders (to put it nicely), crying, very little cleaning, 14 timeouts and two smacks to the butt. While in timeout, Maria gave Sam a bloody nose by throwing her doll at him and at the same time Luke broke the remote by hurling it down the stairs.

It’s snowing again. I have all four children home with me. I have four Uppercase Living parties to close. There’s no chocolate in the house (Luke ate that for breakfast yesterday) and I can’t bring myself to indulge in Mommy Juice until 5 p.m. Okay… maybe 4 p.m.

Say a prayer for me. Or a hundred.