So Andrew, who is the FIRST one that needs to be at school is the LAST one (trying to compete with his sister) to get down the stairs in the morning. Five minutes before we need to leave, I’m shoving him into his pants and squirting a Go-gurt down his throat, hoping he doesn’t choke.
Maria comes down claiming she doesn’t have to wear her uniform shirt under her redwhiteandblue shirt today, which I know damn well is INCORRECT. As she argues, I offer to show her the email that states the spirit wear must go OVER her uniform. “It doesn’t say ENTIRE uniform,” she claims. I tell her she can skip the spirit wear if she doesn’t do what I tell her. Fine, but she is the ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL who has a mother that enforces this.
Sam meanwhile has taken his assignment of coming up with a Christmas list very seriously. And feels the need to tell me about every. single. thing. he is putting on said list. Now. As we’re getting ready for school.
Because everyone is taking SO LONG, I’ve got to shove Andrew out the door and drive him to school first. Sam jumps in front of him, claiming he wants to go now, too, so he can be the first one in his class in line. We are standing on the threshold of the door (literally) and Andrew stops in his tracks and says, “I really feel the need for my blue underwear.” I promise I am not making this up. My response was to push him toward the car. Sam, who’s butt had almost touched the upholstry in the van then decides he needs a sweatshirt and runs back into the house. If Andrew didn’t take so long with his seatbelt, I would have left him, but he made it back to the van just in time. Which was lucky for me, because he wanted to have a discussion about why Andrew’s booster seat had to be in the middle row where it makes it hard for everyone to get in. REALLY? I told him to zip it or walk. I pulled up to school and shoved them out at the curb.
I came home to Maria SCREAMING at Jack in the kitchen because Jack stole one of her pencils. (Which, I might add, is like a person freaking out because someone took a toothpick out of their 1,000 pack.) Jack is claiming he can’t find it, despite having just taken it a few minutes ago. Luke chimes in that he KNOWS Jack took it because Jack told him he did. (Jack very may well have taken it, but also very may well have not, and is just enjoying the collective rising of the blood pressure in everyone.)
I told Maria to grab her things and start walking or I would confiscate every bit of her hoarded school supplies and leave her with just two old-fashioned embarrassing #2 wooden pencils to get her through the rest of her school career.
Jack disappeared to find his backpack. Despite being the first up, he is the last to get out the door. But, then, he’s busy stealing pencils so you can’t really blame him.
Luke. My Luke. A little shyly (and rightly so) tells me as he’s leaving the kitchen, that he and his dad forgot to get his skates sharpened last week and could I possibly get them sharpened before his first evaluation… TONIGHT? Hahahahahahahaha. He goes on to tell me they need to go to one particular place because the other place will do a horrible job and just mess them up. As if.
Have I mentioned that we have no food in the house (seriously, thank goodness today was hot lunch day), I have to watch someone else’s kid, and I have to get Dan from the airport? Last-minute skate sharpening?!? I can easily fit that in! No problemo! He got shoved out the door, too.
You might have noticed that I haven’t mentioned Faith in all this. Where has she been? On the kitchen table in her bouncy seat in the middle of it all. Happily playing with her newest toy. Thank you, God, for this wonderful baby who loves the chaos and smiles through it all and then, when they’re all out the door, snuggles with her momma and falls asleep.